Thursday, 7 May 2009

I've come to the conclusion,

*** Let me interrupt this post***

Well let me just tell you it is over now and if you want to read on, do so at your own risk, because, trust me what is written below this section, well,  it was momentary....and really what was I thinking?

When I got home today I made a fantastic stir fry with garlic, ginger, maple syrup, kikommen soy sauce and shrimp on a bed of wild rice with olives, celery and spring onions.  I thought to myself wouldn't a pail of red wine go nicely with this?  Just get into my jammies and curl up on the couch and watch the Young and the Restless.

Then I thought, you lazy self indulgent slug, get your ass out the door, after all it is a glorious spring night and a full moon.  How many of those kind of nights do we get?

So I loaded up Ruby and headed to Fitzroy Provincial Park  it was gorgeous outside as I made my way along the rural roads.  Frogs were singing in their swampy ponds, birds were flitting about collecting twigs and dried grasses for their nests, the trillium's were up and in full bloom. Wow!!  

I headed down towards the Quyon Ferry which is now running for the summer.  It is the ferry that shuttles cars, trucks and small livestock vehicles across the Ottawa River from Fitzroy Harbour, Ontario to Quyon, Quebec.    I stopped and watched the ferry chug across the river while having a great conversation about fishing with a fellow who was waiting for the ferry to return.   Simple pleasures.

I headed back up the Ferry Road towards Smith's Corners and then continued on from there....Fantastic!!!  It was a magical ride and a moment, for sure

Let's just say if you decide to read what I had originally written, well, let's just say 

I'M OVER IT.....


proceed with caution,


that I'm bummed out!

I've been trying to entertain myself with the fact that I've really have been working hard at recuperation with a healthy, positive attitude. Well, truth be known, I have a first class *B.A.

*BAD ATTITUDE

yup, can you imagine? It has only taken me a month to figure this out. Even though I was going through the motions of trying to be excited with the fact that I was finally able to walk 1K, or that I biked 15K, eyyyyeee haaawwww! Even though I sweated my way through the pain, it just wasn't cutting it with a warm fuzzy feeling of elation that you get from a great run.

BAD ATTITUDE = spoiled, coddled brat having an excessive pity party!! Table for one...

The exterior was going through the motions but the brain was in an agitated turmoil. Reality check, I'm no athlete, I'm no spring chicken, hell, I'm not even good at running, but having the competitive spirit I have, not being able to run and bike was really eating away at me. Well, now that it has surfaced from the smarmy recesses of my reptilian brain, I feel much better.

Physio has been going well, I have been diligent with my home exercises, but really do I need to know how to stand on one foot with my eyes closed? Try it, it is freeking hard!! Dr. No and I have a date next week, so I'll know more after I see him as to whether I'll need surgery. But I'm staying positive that if that is the case, it'll just make it better for the future. I've been walking and cycling and starting to feel some semblance of stability and strength again, which is great because I have to walk my way around the Ottawa Race Weekend Sports Expo!!

Last Sunday was the last long run for the group I had been leading. They ran 32K along the trails which link our gorgeous city from one end to the other called the Ottawa River Parkway.  It was truly great to see everyone and truthfully I was quite fine with it until I had to part company with them.  They were headed along the Ottawa River Parkway and I just wasn't going to go any further with them, it was at that moment I discovered I truly missed everyone and our running, our talks and our friendships.  

It will be a challenge for me to be at the race two weeks from now and not be running, but it is not about me, is it?

It is about my friends, and its about the first timers, their strong will and determination that will get them to the finish line, its about all of the hard work, dedication, running in shit weather, slogging it out in the cold winter months that will bring them to the elite status of being a marathoner.  

Yup, that's why I'll be there cheering for each and every one of them who made the commitment to become a marathon runner...

Life's fun if you don't weaken,

Lily

21 comments:

bluecolnago said...

that's a good post, young lady! true human nature. problems start to get you down then you overcome them and in the end..... TRIUMPH!!!

keep smiling! :)

NY Wolve said...

I had a coach tell me "The journey is the destination. Enjoy it." Easy to say, hard to live. But it is a way to think.

Jo Lynn said...

You are a good friend. ;)

AKA Alice said...

Lily...you are amazing...really you are...I'd be a world class BIATCH if I were in your shoes. It's OK to have some BA days...you're allowed.

Hang in there; you'll be back to the "bad boy" (running) soon enough.

Xenia said...

I heart you, L! Glad you had a good day that turned this attitude around. You'll get better, one way or another, and be back out there soon. Take care! :)

Amy said...

Oh, Lily I totally get it, I have those pity party days too, and then get pissed at myself, thinking, you are so lucky to be alive and pretty healthy, just cut it out already! But I guess it is just human nature to have those BA days...

TNTcoach Ken said...

Been there, done that. Those Pity Parties are truly overrated. You're still a part of the team, so go out there and cheer them on and enjoy yourself. Hey, you can even partake in a BEvERage with them.

D10 said...

I think we all have BA days. I think your las comment says it all "life's fun if you dont' weaken."

Jess said...

Everybody is allowed to have a BA some days.

Mel-2nd Chances said...

you are totally entitled to a BA day, but you are a strong person, and won't let yourself weaken. Be the amazing friend that you are :) hugs.

Wes said...

Just all part of the process, but its fun if you don't weaken :-)

Judi said...

what do you mean you aren't an athlete? drive, determination, and HEART define an athlete - not age, weight or how many miles you ran this week. so stop this bullshit way of thinking.

i am glad the ride lifted your spirits. continue to get on that bike and ride lilly. and swim. did i mention that? swimming is REALLY good for you.

xxoo-
judi

Chad in the AZ Desert said...

Glad to hear you got over it. Good job!

Runner Leana said...

Laurel, injuries are hard. They take us away from doing what we love, and it isn't possible to put on a happy face all the time. I certainly wouldn't expect you to. And the fact that you are going to be there chearing your friends on? You are one true friend Laurel.

I hope the date with Dr. No goes well.

Bluenoser said...

I'm with Judi on this one.

-B

Nat said...

I'm glad you got out and enjoyed the weather...

This is a rough slog no doubt about it. Recovery isn't fun. Hugs.

Listen I only have a mountain bike but maybe I could come up one day and we could ride around?

Kim said...

You're allowed a pity party once in a while. Just as long as you buonce back soon enough.

You are truly amazing. Remind yourself of that!

Black Knight said...

Having the competitive spirit is important but not to be in hurry, take your time. I didn't take it and now i am into the troubles.

bill carter said...

Hi Lily

I think you are handling all this physical stuff very well. I can't imagine what I would be like if I had to go through what you are experiencing. You have been truly awesome!

BTW, I just have to believe that you are going to get better. And you should too.

Alexandra said...

I think it's all about what you make of what you are handed in life! It's only natural to get down on your self and have BA days but it shows a strong character and fortitude when you can get yourself out of that state and make something good of it. I think it's wonderful that you will be there passing on your strength to all your friends who will be running the marathon.

Bert said...

Laurel your emotions are perfectly in order; it is tough dealing with injuries and the 'forced' deprivation of things you like to do, such as running & training with your friends, leading the group etc. When we are turned into temporary non-runners, most of us tend to take it pretty poorly... At least you got out on Ruby and made a day of it. Stay strong!