Let's just say if you decide to read what I had originally written, well, let's just say
I've been trying to entertain myself with the fact that I've really have been working hard at recuperation with a healthy, positive attitude. Well, truth be known, I have a first class *B.A.
*BAD ATTITUDE
yup, can you imagine? It has only taken me a month to figure this out. Even though I was going through the motions of trying to be excited with the fact that I was finally able to walk 1K, or that I biked 15K, eyyyyeee haaawwww! Even though I sweated my way through the pain, it just wasn't cutting it with a warm fuzzy feeling of elation that you get from a great run.
BAD ATTITUDE = spoiled, coddled brat having an excessive pity party!! Table for one...
The exterior was going through the motions but the brain was in an agitated turmoil. Reality check, I'm no athlete, I'm no spring chicken, hell, I'm not even good at running, but having the competitive spirit I have, not being able to run and bike was really eating away at me. Well, now that it has surfaced from the smarmy recesses of my reptilian brain, I feel much better.
Physio has been going well, I have been diligent with my home exercises, but really do I need to know how to stand on one foot with my eyes closed? Try it, it is freeking hard!! Dr. No and I have a date next week, so I'll know more after I see him as to whether I'll need surgery. But I'm staying positive that if that is the case, it'll just make it better for the future. I've been walking and cycling and starting to feel some semblance of stability and strength again, which is great because I have to walk my way around the Ottawa Race Weekend Sports Expo!!
Last Sunday was the last long run for the group I had been leading. They ran 32K along the trails which link our gorgeous city from one end to the other called the Ottawa River Parkway. It was truly great to see everyone and truthfully I was quite fine with it until I had to part company with them. They were headed along the Ottawa River Parkway and I just wasn't going to go any further with them, it was at that moment I discovered I truly missed everyone and our running, our talks and our friendships.
It will be a challenge for me to be at the race two weeks from now and not be running, but it is not about me, is it?
It is about my friends, and its about the first timers, their strong will and determination that will get them to the finish line, its about all of the hard work, dedication, running in shit weather, slogging it out in the cold winter months that will bring them to the elite status of being a marathoner.

Yup, that's why I'll be there cheering for each and every one of them who made the commitment to become a marathon runner...
Life's fun if you don't weaken,
Lily
